She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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