Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
where does the pee come out of this thing
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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