exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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