You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
