Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Everyone says I win the strip club
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
