I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Randomize