I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
