In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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