You can't special order awesome
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
