I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
