Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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