Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
