Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm bleeding and have questions
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
