How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
