he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
