you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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