Only a mothe r could love this liver
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
