I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
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Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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