Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Randomize
