his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
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when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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