Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I think my vagina is haunted
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
