Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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