similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Randomize
