Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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