dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
The Olympian is in my bed
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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