You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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