Michael Bay diarrhea
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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