Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
