What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
