what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize