great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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