Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
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