what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
