Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
