I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
