Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
