I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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