I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
How does one acquire holy water?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize