haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
