i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
