turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I intend to get homeless drunk
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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