The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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