Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
