He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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