the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
