whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
