I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize