..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
