you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
