Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
