I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize