I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
