if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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