saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Text me some of your sweat
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
