girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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