He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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