It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
